The worst day of my life

Friday May 7th I received the call that no parents ever want to receive. Dr Robertson informed us that on the prior days ultrasound they had found 2 small tumors on my daughters left kidney. As the doctor was explaining things I couldn't hold the tears back. I just wanted to scream. I immediately called Mark. We had to try and make it to DC Childrens by 2. We knew that we were cutting it close on time, but we didn't care. We needed answers. What normally should take about an 1 1/2 to tops 2 hours took us almost 3. It was Friday afternoon and the traffic was horrible, we got lost...it was just a nightmare. We finally got there at 3. We ran up to the 2nd floor. When we got there we realized we weren't given all of the information. They had wanted us to fast her for 8 hours. But we never received that information. I could feel my blood boiling at that point. We finally spoke to a nurse and she said the reason for the fasting was so that if Gracie was moving a lot they needed the option to sedate her. They said that it was our choice if we wanted to try to do the CT. We said absolutely.

They brought out the wonderful orange drink for Gracie for the contrast. She loved it......we couldn't believe it. Then another nurse came out and put some numbing cream on her arms to help when they had to insert and IV. She had an hour to drink the orange drink. So we sat in the waiting room pacing and waiting. The girls on the other hand were really enjoying the new toys.

Finally Gracie went back to have an IV inserted. I knew this was going to go horribly. I've been through so many blood draws with her and I knew how she reacted. It took myself, two nurses and her oncologist to hold her down. She is one tough fighter. It took 2 attempts to get one in but it was finally done. The doctor finally spoke with us and explained Wilms tumors to us. He explained that if Gracie is to have a tumor that this is the one to have and that the prognosis is usually really good.

We finally made our way to the CT room. This is where I had to leave my poor Gracie. Mark stayed strong beside her. A few minutes into the testing the nurse came out to get me. Unfortunately Gracie's IV and kinked and they were unable to use it. So here we go again. As I was holding Gracie she was screaming "help me mommy." I was bawling along with her. Poor Mark was about to loose it as well. Luckily this time, they got it in quickly and proceeded with the CT scan.

After the CT we made our way back to the waiting room and waited for the Dr. He finally took us to a conference room to discuss their initial review of the scan. The Dr. said that Gracie had 2 tumors. One measuring at 2 cm and one at 4 cm. One was on the upper part of the kidney and one at the base. Upon initial review it looks as if her lungs, other kidney and blood vessels were clear. He said that they would review everything more over the weekend and hopefully come up with a game plan by the end of the weekend. He was still hoping to have her in surgery by Friday.

Mark and I were truelly still in shock as we left the Hosital. We knew that inside of us our emotions were brewing. We finally got home that night around 9. All we wanted to do was snuggle our 3 beautiful children.

Please forgive me everyone if I am slow to post or post a few days late. Sometimes I need a day or two to really get my feelings out. I really want this blog to express to everyone the long road that my family and I are about to go through. So please check back regularly as Mark and I will try our best to update often.